Hello, April.

Hello,
It’s been a long time coming but I’m finally finding my feet again, thank god. I’m starting to feel at peace with myself for the first time in a long time. Slowly, but surely I am becoming happier each day. There are still a few things that I’m working on, but I’ve finally realised that it’s okay and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved and how far I’ve come, alone.

The past year and a half of my life hasn’t exactly been easy. From break-ups to pregnancy and literally doing everything by myself. I had come out of a toxic relationship after finding out I was pregnant and it was for the better. I stupidly thought that he would stick to his word and be involved once the baby was born, but I was wrong. You live and learn.

It’s a very daunting thing bringing life into the world and it’s even more daunting knowing that you’ll be doing it alone. I do think that I have done a good job so far though considering and I’m unbelievably proud of myself. Having a baby changes so many things from not being able to do things you once loved to losing friends and of course, losing sleep.

I’ve lost a few friends along the way and as sad as that makes me feel I know what’s meant to be will be. Having a baby made me realise that people I once thought were my friends were in fact nobody and just there for the ride till things got hazy. And that’s okay. So thank you to all the arse holes who left me when I needed you the most, you’ve taught me to do things that no one else could. To love myself.

Within a year so much has changed and I absolutely love where I’m at now. I have a beautiful one year old boy who I would give the world plus more and I have people who actually care around me who I can’t thank enough. I’ve spoke to people I thought I’d never speak to again and changed the way I view myself as a person. My mind is healthier and I feel healthier.

It’s good to be back.

x

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